We all know the job market is tough. Especially for new grads with little to no experience. Yet I am amazed at the resumes that cross my desk and infiltrate my inbox. Some are good and make me wish we were hiring because this person really has his/her stuff together; some are just eeh, leaving the job seeker mostly forgettable; and then some are so frustrating that I want to shake these recent and soon-to-be grads until they’re sobbing and quietly repeating the mantra “I will not write bad cover letters, I will not write bad cover letters, I will not…”

It’s not that these kids (and I say “kids” knowing I’m only nine or so years older than most of them) don’t try. They do. And they mean well. They just don’t seem to grasp just how many other candidates they’re up against, and that every little mistake they make stands up, does the Macarena and screams, “Did you see me, did you see me?”

I will be sharing some of the worst offenders with you on a (hopefully) weekly basis to illustrate what works and what doesn’t when trying to get a job. I mean no disrespect to those whose cover letters I dissect. I merely want to offer helpful insight so that others can learn from these mistakes. And maybe get a laugh or two along the way.

Let’s jump right in.

Talk,

I would like to submit my resume to you for a position with the company. I believe that creativity is key when it comes to this position and I believe that it is one of my strongest traits. Not only do you have to know how to read and understand the people and products you are working with, but you have to develop something that you can then present to others. The presentation is my favorite part because if you feel passionate about something, the possibilities are endless. That is how I feel about television [Talk is not a television company, nor a video production company] and the work that I put into it. Savannah [Talk is in Wilmington, NC not Savannah, GA] is an area that I am familiar with and am not looking for a job that is too easy, I am not looking for a job that’s to [too] hard [This isn’t Goldilocks. No job is “just right.” I am looking for a career that can challenge me and if I work hard enough, can find great success at [How does that help my company?]. Thanks in advance and I look forward to your response.